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Faking it?

Today has been full of irritability. I blamed sobriety for that for a good portion of the day until I realised that it was really just that work sucked! It doesn't always, but I was out of the office yesterday and am on leave tomorrow, so today was like 3 days in 1! I really did hate everyone though! And I guess it's ok to have crappy days, it's not always because I'm not drinking. In fact, if I'd had that bottle of wine last night I'm sure today would have been way more stressful and less productive. But when my colleague suggested "going home for a bucket of wine" I have to admit I was tempted!

When I got home I took the dog for a brisk, stompy walk to get rid of some of the tetchiness. I even treated myself to a caramac for the road. It helped. But even though I know alcohol does NOTHING good for me, I missed it a bit.

I decided to spend my wine monies on alternative treats; skittles, bubble bath, Galaxy hot chocolate, and some Alcohol Free wine.

I was a bit scared of the wine. Might it make me tempted to go back? As an aside I did not once waiver on the alcohol aisle (where for inexplicable reasons they also keep the AF stuff). That's a big fat milestone tick I think!

It turns out that all brands of alcohol free wine, that I've come across, are utterly rank. Maybe after a while I'll convince myself that's what real wine tastes like. Maybe it's like when a vegan says "it's just like real cheese". It really isn't but they're not lying, they just don't remember how it tastes. There are many other AF options around though so plenty for me to have a go at. Becks Blue is ok, whatever I had in sober October was pretty nice too.

As it happens this stuff doesn't make me want to dash to the offy crying "all is forgiven" at the wine fridge. It's just close enough to the taste of wine to put me off a bit. Just like we got used to the taste of booze in our teens when it initially tasted gross (although I still can't revisit cider of any sort due to overconsumption), maybe I'll get used to this. Or maybe I'll switch it up for a creamy, sweet Galaxy Hot chocolate.

Peace out, Poppins :)


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