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1 week on

It's a week since I made this commitment. Of course I did have a little wobble but it didn't feel like I was right back to square one because I had achieved something in those first booze free days. And learned something both about myself and sobriety.

Today was a busy one rushing around with the kids, but this evening I had some time. I love to faff around in the kitchen at the weekend when there's no rush. Cooking things Mr P does not wish to eat, moshing away to a playlist of Linkin Park, Rage Against the Machine and such like with a glass of wine in hand. Well I did exactly that tonight, except the wine was AF. And the result was exactly the same! I still enjoyed myself, it was still a nice way to relax and the food was still tasty! (Avocado rice and refried beans in case you wondered).

It's ridiculous that it's taken me this long to really understand that the drink in the glass doesn't have to affect the enjoyment of the activity.

So my week one observations.
1) I can enjoy a night out with friends and it's SO much easier to drive than work out the logistics of lifts and taxis.
2) An emergency toolkit will help things go smoother when you're tired/grumpy/*insert own reason for wine consumption. Chocolates, hot chocolate, bubble bath, and definitely a stompy walk have all given me a little bit of what I was looking for in wine this week.
3) A wobble is not worth throwing the towel in for. I'd like to think I won't have too many of those but I'm pleased that the one I had did not result in a massive hangover and days of self loathing. 1 doesn't have to result in 10 (although it frequently does, hence the point of all this!)
4) If ignored, the Wine Witch eventually shuts up. There have been several days this week when I've really wanted to just give up, bury my head in the sand and try again in 6 months. But it passes.
5) Support from those who "get it" is invaluable. I've joined a site called Soberistas. A group of mostly women, all with difference pasts and problems, at various day counts, but all of whom are committed to living without alcohol because they know they will be a better person for it. They warned me that days 3-5 I'd feel tired but it would get better. They've been there and they understand. It's immensely helpful to be able to draw on those experiences and share a solidarity with them.
6) Some people will get it, some people won't. Some people will feel uncomfortable and imagine it's somehow about them. It isn't. And it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. My health, my life, my time; these are precious and I am choosing a better path for me.

I'm looking forward to a fresh Sunday morning when Miss P and I are going to do some baking. And I won't be grumpy and short tempered. Hopefully!


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