We're officially half way through the month. And I have a confession.
I had a wobbly weekend.
To be completely honest I knew before I started that this weekend was going to be the most likely point to fall off the wagon. I was staying with my dear friend Kate (t'other Kate) in Whitley Bay. We've been drinking together for close to 20 years (sorry mum!) and although we see each other pretty infrequently I adore her. Whenever we're together it's like we've never been apart.
I was so excited to spend time with her and her beautiful family. And yes, we should be able to hang out without the social lubricant of alcohol, and of course we can and do. But kicking back for the evening with your best friend is just a little incomplete without a glass of wine in hand. Not drinking felt like I was putting an expectation on Kate not to drink either, or to feel bad if she did. And when it's the last time we'll see each other this year, well to be honest, in the moment it felt worth wobbling for.
I took a bottle of sparkling grape juice. Which I did drink! It was really nice actually; a lovely accompaniment to the delicious stuffed squash. But it was followed by a couple of glasses of wine on Saturday night.
I know, I failed. Those who were holding off sponsoring me until I'd "proven I could do it" are probably feeling a little smugger, and a little richer! But I'm not throwing in the towel because of one wobble. I'm still going to see the rest of the month through. Because failing once at anything is never a reason to give up trying.
I could go back to a nightly glass of cool, crisp white wine, a few beers next weekend. And I really would like to! But it would make a mockery of the whole thing. If I can't come back from this and stick to it for the rest of the month I'm not honouring those who have already sponsored me.